Clients are frequently disturbed by the inability to maintain relationships over extended periods of time. These relationships may be personal, business, or even family. Perhaps you should study the top of the milk carton where it has an expiration date and take comfort.

Most relationships – be it with your college sweetheart or the wonderful contractor you used for the last year – have an expiration date. You will know hundreds of people during your lifetime – very few will be end up being long term relationships.

Some relationships will actually be on pre-determined timeline. Take the contractor who you use for a couple of household or business projects. There is frequently an illusion of a friendship having developed. He’s told you about his family and his life’s challenges. You might have even shared your family history with him. Initially he is grateful for the work and the fact that you pay promptly. Over an 18 month period your ‘friendship’ means you will end up, in his mind, ‘understanding’ if he is late on completing the work in the kitchen, or if he needs an advance on compensation. After 24 months you may be better off establishing a new relationship with another contractor.

When you are fifty you might find that some family relationships that you found tolerable at twenty five are no longer worth the stress. It is still a fact that they are family but it is not worth working at preserving the same relationship you had previously – the time for that self sacrifice has expired.

You also have changed during the course of your life and may not be the most wonderful person for others to have a relationship with. Someone meeting you at age fifty really has no way of knowing who you are or what affect life has had on making the person you are today.

So your non-licensed therapist is suggesting that you start on the premise that most relationships have an expiration date and take comfort in the fact that you know that in advance.